Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned . . .

I have a confession to make, and since I'm not Catholic, I don't really have a particular person to confess too, so I'm going to use my own little private community, here on my blog. Mind you, I'm not calling you all father, that's actually directed toward God.

Here it is: I'm really arrogant. I know some of you are laughing, thinking "Wow, Nate, you just figured that out?" But it's not that I didn't know, it's just that I hadn't realized how deeply my pride runs. I'm proud of everything. I'm proud of my education, I'm proud of my status, I'm proud of my intelligence, I'm proud of the fact that I can spot a speck of hubris in the outside corner of your left eye. I'm proud of my religious convictions, I'm proud of my national heritage, I'm proud of the neighborhood I live in. I'm actually proud of the little humility I do have. When I meditate on the power and sovereignty of God, I somehow end up thinking how proud I am that I know the truth. In fact, I'm wondering if this entry could be an exercise of pride - you know, confessing to look humble, without actually engaging in humility.

The problem is, my pride is getting in the way with what God wants to do with me. I actually have more in common with the Pharisees than with the woman caught in adultery or the publican. I have lot's of sin, but I brag about my purity, and walk away when Jesus starts writing the sins in the sand.

I’m sorry. Will you forgive me?

Love is all ya need . . .

I have a theory that the Beatles are somehow related to everything, so they certainly wrote on the most important concept ever revealed. In fact, with All you need is Love, they hit it right on the head. In any case, Love seemed like a good place to start, partly because the funkiness of Ringo still stands out after almost 40 years, and partly because of the last verse of 1 Corinthians 12 "My brothers, I show you a better way." Clearly, the better way is love, because we know that 1 Corinthians 13 is "The Love Chapter." You know, the famous "If I give everything I have to the poor, but have not Love . . ." The real question we should ask is, what was Paul talking about when he decided we needed to know the more excellent way? What was the context?

1 Corinthians 12 is an extended discussion on spiritual gifts. There is a brief discussion on tounges, but it actually mentions a list of the most important gifts - in order. First apostles, second prophets, third teachers, then miracles, gifts of healing, helps, gifts of leadership, different kinds of tongues. So if you're say, an apostle, with a prophetic gift & the ability to heal people, but you're not doing it all with love, it's pretty much worthless. The scary part is when I apply that to my life. I'm going to seminary, presumably to become a better teacher, and to better understand leadership in the local church. A noble goal, certainly, but worthless if I don't do it in love, and if love is not an integral part of my ministry.

Practically, love is much harder to accomplish in our daily lives than anything else. It's far easier to teach, or lead than it is to truly love. The requirements to actually demonstrate love are much to difficult. I am not, naturally patient or kind, although rudeness, self centeredness, anger and resentment come easily. I'm fallen, after all. The qualities of love somehow always elude me. Even when I'm outwardly cool while I should be annoyed, inside me there's a little boy slamming his fists on the table and crying "I WANT IT MY WAY." And I'm only being annoyed! Christ was patient while they lied about his character, flayed his back, and nailed him to a board! I can't love like that!