Yes Gnarls, I am too

I remember when, I remember, I remember when I lost my mind
There was something so pleasant about that place.
Even your emotions had an echo
In so much space

And when you're out there
Without care,
Yeah, I was out of touch
But it wasn't because I didn't know enough
I just knew too much

Does that make me crazy
Does that make me crazy
Does that make me crazy
possibly

Spent the long weekend in Caseville, which is sort of a reset. I don't have to think about important things, just really minor stuff, like if eating at noon counts as breakfast or lunch if you wake up at 11:30, or if I should put on SPF 36 or 30 while on the water. I am absolutely convinced that these breaks are what keeps me alive. Not alive in a physical sense, but intellectually and emotionally. I'm not sure what it is about the human mind, but it can only take a certain amount of monotony before it gets interpreted as stress. Breaking up the monotony is what Caseville is all about. That and sleep. I've often thought about figuring out a way to retire up that. If I start saving now, I might be able to afford it by the time I'm 85 or so. ;) The problem is that if it really is monotony that I'm escaping, the monotony up there would be significantly worse than down here. I'm pretty sure I'd get bored.



And I hope that you are having the time of your life
But think twice, that's my only advice

Come on now, who do you, who do you, who do you, who do
you think you are,
Ha ha ha bless your soul
You really think you're in control

Well, I think you're crazy
I think you're crazy
I think you're crazy
Just like me

This stanza is why I've been thinking about this song for the last 3 days. That and it's playing every time I turn on the radio. "You really think you're in control" More and more I'm realizing that there's this strange balance in life. God is in absolute control, and can interfere whenever and wherever He wants to, but he allows us free choice. We can't understand it, but on a practical level, it means that we have a responsibility to walk with God, and that God doesn't interfere with the decisions that we make, but allows the natural laws He has established to work the consequences. The result of that is the denial of His existence, his followers wandering from their first love, and a plethora of horrible thing happening all over the world all the time.
Recent readings and conversations are leading me to realize both the incredible ease with witch we slip into thinking we control our fate, and the incredible the arrogance of that train of thought. Who DO we think we are? We know we can't control what's going on, yet we never stop lying to ourselves that we will manage it. The only thing we have control of is ourselves. That means that we can choose to commit to God, to become self sacrificing servants for the greater good, or we can not. It's not one choice, it's a thousand little ones a day, from not being selfish about the last pickle to having a good attitude about the work I have to do and resulting with my being joyful despite circumstances because I have decided to use the power of the Holy Spirit to walk in right relationship to the Creator.



My heroes had the heart to lose their lives out on a limb
And all I remember is thinking, I want to be like them
Ever since I was little, ever since I was little it looked like fun
And it's no coincidence I've come
And I can die when I'm done

Maybe I'm crazy
Maybe you're crazy
Maybe we're crazy
Probably


And so there it is. Heroes are not people who save the world from the comfort of their living room, they are the ones who are willing to sacrifice themselves for the greater good. We notice it when they save 120 people on an airliner, or carry a child out of a burning building. We miss it when they put an arm around someone who's hurting despite the fact that they really just want to watch TV and sleep. I guess that the rest that remains for us when we're done is more important than we realize.