late night ramblings

It’s getting late, and I’m a bit tired, but I am so used to staying up to study that bed seems almost foreign at times. I feel like I have to stay up and wait, even though Sarah is asleep, and the phone is turned off, and I don’t care who wins the game. It’s not that I’m inordinately worried. I’m not. We’ve sort of accepted that Grandma will die within the next few days. It seems morbid, but the concerns are turning from life ( how will she be once she gets home) to death ( I don’t want Sarah to miss 4 days of work unpaid for an Arkansas funeral).

But I’m not worried, strangely. I know that Grandma was saved, which relieves a huge load, and she had a good talk with Sarah before they left in April, so there aren’t any emotional loose ends. It’s more like a self-required vigil before a long ordeal. I feel a need for community, but even if Grandma stays around, I’ll be visiting another church Sunday. It’s just a strange feeling.

On a brighter note, I feel increasingly confident about the next seven weeks of teaching. The lessons are moving from content-rich facts and bullets of information into applicable illustrations. While that is not always best, (usually, not always) personal illustrations of an applicable nature are a must when teaching high school & jr. high.