Balancing between Extravagant Love and Extreme Hate

Some of my recent readings in anthropology brought me to Genesis 3 and specifically, the fall of man. Anthony Hoekema, in his 1989 book Saved by Grace points out that all human problems with self image are present in the narrative of the fall.


We all know the story, but in case you don't feel like reading it, I'll tell you, briefly. Eve is in the Garden of Eden, perfect home for mankind in general, and is tempted by a snake to eat from the forbidden Tree of Knowledge, based on the fact that it would give her the knowledge of good and evil. She eats it, and gives some to her husband, and he eats it. They hear God coming, and hide, like disobedient children. God is angry, because they disobeyed, and curses both of them, and the snake.
Back to the point about self image. In verse 5, the serpent tells Eve that eating from the Tree of Knowledge will make her "like God" Eve believes it. She accepts the lie that she can know what is good for her more accurately than her Creator. That's the extraordinary hubris that fallen man (and angels) exhibit on a regular basis. We reject what God has told us is true and good for us, and wallow in our sin. Not sure? Think about a pair of native musicians. In 2002 Eminem released the song Without Me. The refrain claims that we all feel a little empty inside without Eminem. Sound familiar? Yup, it's a god claim. Kid Rock was a little more brash with his claim. On his 1998 album Devil Without a Cause, he claims "I am the Bullgod, you understand, the illegitimate son of man"
Following Adam and Eve's sin, we see in verse 10 the Adam and Eve are embarrassed, ashamed of who they are. This was a direct result of their awareness of their guilt before the perfect judge. Today, this guilt shows up in other ways; depression, self hate, anger. This is an overemphasis on what we are outside of Christ, and for unbelievers, is actually easier to deal with (as far as an eternal cure) than arrogance. Although we glorify this attitude less, Blue October's recent hit Hate Me tells of a protagonist who is breaking up with his girlfriend because it’s best for her. He feels cockroaches in his head, struggles with suicidal hate, and realizes that he never experienced anything prior to her. His love for her forces him to end the relationship because of his inability to overcome his problems. Warped, perhaps, but it rings a bell with those who struggle with guilt. In a similar vein, Pink sings of her own struggles with herself:

I was always in a fight cuz
I can't do nothin' right.
Everyday I fight a war against the mirror,
I can't take the person starin' back at me.
I'm a hazard to myself
Don't let me get me
I'm my own worst enemy

It seems that even the rich and famous swing between self worship and self hate. As believers, we need to guard against these extremes in our self image. We need to meditate on the fact that we are worthless sinners that God loved so much, He sacrificed his Son for us. If we feel inflated, impressed by our accomplishments, we need to be reminded of the worthless sinners part. When guilt rears it's head, pulling us down, we need to focus on the sacrifice of the Son by the Father, for US. In that paradox we must rest.