My Life as a brief Postmodern Essay

Marie says that the very beginning is a very good place to start. That’s good enough for me. The first thing that I remember wanting to be was an Olympic diver. Of course, I put no effort into that, or even demonstrated any desire at all to move in that direction, so that never happened. My mother has said that at some point I wanted to be a fireman. I believer her. She has no reason to lie, and firemen are pretty cool.

When I graduated from high school, I felt I was a pretty good writer, so I wanted to be a journalist. When I got to college, I discovered that for every 10 people that want to be journalists, there are 9 beat reporters and one former beat reporter who did a stint as editor at a small paper who has finally earned the right to be called a journalist. I also discovered scary things like working long hours for too little pay and libel lawsuits. I have a high respect for beat reporters, but I don’t want to be one.

Because I was 2 years into a communication major by the time I was disillusioned, I figured that lots of electives would be good, and took whatever my heart desired, but focused on communication. I became adept at film criticism and dabbled in every branch of the communications department except photography, because I never really liked the sound of Lou Slykers voice. I’m sorry to those of your who like Lou, I’m sure he’s a nice man. I also dabbled in the E-crit program, which I enjoyed thoroughly.

Before I graduated, I got an internship in the marketing department of an accounting firm, which turned into a full time position. I don't know how it happend, it just fell into my lap. I loved the job, and hated the work. I worked in multimedia, I worked with advertising, I worked on events. That means I edited databases and wrote copy. Then I got fired. They said I was laid off in an internal reorganization due to changing market forces, but they still chopped off my head. My wife laughed when I told her, because she didn’t believe me.

I found another internship, this time at a sexy young public relations firm. I was the research peon. I loved the work, and hated the job. I researched demographics, reporters, companies and potential clients. There’s no way to make that sound exciting, because the word research is boring, unless it is paired with the word development. But it was great. On the down side, the sexy young company jerked me around for 9 months, because that’s what sexy young things do.


One weekend, we were up north. I woke up in the middle of the night, and decided to take a walk in response to my insomnia. I walked on the beach, the wind driving in from the lake, with the waves crashing in response. During that time, on the beach, God told me to go to seminary and serve Him. So I went to seminary. I chose the masters of Christian Education, because the program seemed more interesting than straight theology.

Of course, by this time, sexy had decided I was good enough. Thus, I was given a job offer less than a month after I had been accepted into seminary. But, I felt that I shouldn't contradict the Creator of the Universe, so I went to school. That's pretty much where I'm at now. I go to school, I do a little work when I get the opportunity, I teach if someone will let me. I'm know the current step, but I'm waiting to know the next one.